All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
