I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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