He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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