So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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