LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
