I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
