More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm passing your future prison.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
