My liver just broke up with me...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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