In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
