what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize