but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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