on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
where am i from again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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