we're blogging at a bar
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Enjoy the penises
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You ruined the universe
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize