How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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