Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
