you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
