I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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