Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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