Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
soo... how was my night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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