I wish I only lived at night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
