hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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