i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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