So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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