Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize