The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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