i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
