Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
