My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize