I don't think brook has ever known best
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
