As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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