if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we're making bets on your personal life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
