I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
