I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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