I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
