At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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