its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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