I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
