I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
