if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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