Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
did you just send me my own nude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
