I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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