He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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