haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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