so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
