Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
