He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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