My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize