If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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