i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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