I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
