I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
