didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
