Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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