Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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