your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
