Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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