Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
