we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
