She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
