The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
