Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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