Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
