SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
