Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
