He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
