the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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