I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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