I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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