i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i think my cat just said my name.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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