YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize