So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
