just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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